I Got Drunk At Church Yesterday

So, I'm sick. And not just a little bit sick. This is kicking my tail. I've pulled out all my all-natural tricks, finally went to see the doc who prescribed an anti-biotic which hasn't touched it. Went to Urgent Care over the weekend only to have the arrogant doc there tell me, "It's not that bad."

I said to the moonlighting doctor who got his degree from the University of Phoenix, "Look, I've had four babies without drugs. In the last 10 hours I've taken 13 Ibruprofen. That's more than I took when I gave BIRTH. I am I-N P-A-I-N."

He looked at me and rolled his eyes, and said, "Keep taking the Ibruprofen."

You wanna see a Redheaded Rant & Rave? We nearly had ourselves one right there in the doctor's office. He doesn't have very much hair, it wouldn't have been pretty.

So, still in a lot of pain. I'm not contagious and life must go on. So, hubs and I loaded up the kids (in 2 vehicles) and headed to church to celebrate the first Sunday in our new building. I walked slow and whispered a lot. The plan was for me and the little kids to come home after and sleep all afternoon. Hubs and the big kids would attend lunch/homegroup after church, hence the need for 2 vehicles. Stay with me. The drunk part is coming up real soon.

So, I walked in the door of church and saw a nurse/friend of mine who had been keeping up with my pain status via Facebook. She asked me how I was. I gave her the look. She said, "Want a Percocet?" I said, "Hand it over." (She will remain nameless to protect her husband's medical license, yadda yadda.) At that point I didn't care - just hand over the drugs people. She could've been a gangter drug dealer from Chicago for all I cared.

So, I took it. Shortly thereafter, my voice returned, my pain stopped and I was finally relieved of the curse which had plagued for FOUR DAYS. Thank you Jesus.

Then, well............hmmmmmmmmm.............I think maybe I might need to sit down for a sec.

Ok, maybe I'll just stay right here all afternoon.

No, wait - think I'm going to throw up. Hubs brought sustenance. Didn't help.

Service ended, time to pick up kids and drive home. Oh, wait. Ummm.........I'm fairly sure that a DUI in the church parking lot on the first Sunday in our new building would not go over so well with the neighbors. (I'm certain I couldn't have made it to the stop sign.)

My face continues to lose all color, it's obvious this little pill was a little too strong for me.

Ok, so I attempt to walk the line to the nursery to get my baby, bumping and tripping all the way. Well meaning church members did a double take, "Are you okay?" "Do you need some help?"

"No, I'm fine just a little woozy. What'd you put in that latte anyway?" Wish I had a camera to capture those reactions. Oh, yes - I have a camera in my purse. "Where's my purse?"

I'm telling you, I might as well have been in a bar at 2 a.m. Takes me back to the good old days.

Anyway, my nurse/friend helped me find the children, put on coats, find my purse, and walk to the car. She drove me home (with a brief attempt-to-vomit-stop on the way) and she finally got me safely inside the house. Thank God for her.

She so wisely said, "Um, maybe you should just take half of the pill next time."

Note to self, P-E-R-C-O-C-E-T not so good for the Kristin.

The kids and I did sleep all afternoon. Thank you, Jesus. Only now the woozy-causing-pain medication has worn off. Oh, yes I AM IN PAIN!

Where's that other Percocet she gave me?

A New Normal

I am home from the services for Dylan. It was so good to hug Phil & Amy and to sit with my extended family and share their grief. With all the tears and sadness, there was still a breath of hope in the air. We know Dylan is home and fully restored. How do non-Believers deal with a loss this grand without the hope of eternity that only Jesus promises? Phil & Amy will always have a piece of their heart missing, but I pray that in the days to come they can accept their "new normal" from the Prince of Peace.

Now that I'm home and my normal life has resumed, it's hard for me to go about my day-to-day without feeling guilty about it. It's like how our country reacted after 9/11. How can we go see a comedic movie when there is so much sadness? How can I watch UK beat Tennessee and be happy about it? (!) What does my mounds of laundry mean compared to the loss Phil & Amy are feeling? A few years ago, after Dylan had been diagnosed, I spoke with Amy about feeling guilty for making a big deal about my problems when hers were so much more grand. She graciously responded, "Just because I have a big problem, doesn't mean God doesn't care about your issues."

What is big to God? I need reminded that when He looks at my needs, He doesn't discard me because my neighbor lost her job or because my co-worker had surgery. I think I had convinced myself that the world needed to be on hold because Dylan was sick. But, God is big enough to handle it all. "There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, who rides on the heavens to help you and on the clouds in his majesty." Deuteronomy 33:26

All Else Fades Away

I haven't been here very much. My life has been filled up with little room for this blog that I love. Someday, there'll be a slot for it, but not now.

I just found out that my little cousin died this morning. That makes all else fade away. My schedule, my stress, my to-do list means nothing.

I am heartbroken. How does a mother get out of bed tomorrow morning when her baby died the day before? How does a brother come to terms with his God when his baby brother suffered for all 5 years of his short life? How does a father hold his family together when the grief is too hard for him to bear?

But for the grace of God.

God in heaven, YOU ALONE are God. Your mysteries are too complex for me to understand. Scoop up this precious family and hold them so close they can feel Your heartbeat. Give them dreams and visions of Dylan in his heavenly home, and give them strength. God please drown Jackson and Conner with your all-consuming agape love. Give Phil and Amy a supernatural assurance of their "normal" life to come.

Help me to see my children as You see them, Lord.