Out of Focus

When I was in high school, I had a wonderful yearbook advisor. I was one of the editors my senior year, and I spent a lot of time in her classroom. She gave me significant responsibility and treated me like an adult rather than a student. At one point, however, she noticed that things seemed out of balance in my life. (I have a tendency to get, you know, Miss Busy Body. I'm sure that's a surprise to you.) She called me in her office and asked me to take a look at one of the cameras the photographers were using. She said, "Just look through this lens and tell me what you see. I think there's something wrong with this camera." I thought she was nuts to ask me, but I did what she asked (rolling my eyes all the way, I'm sure.) I looked through the camera and saw a blur. I said, "There's nothing wrong with this camera, it's just out of focus." As I gave her the camera back, her eyes said it all. I had been fighting to keep everything in balance, and when it didn't work I assumed something was wrong with me. Yep, like the whole world will stop revolving if I don't get to the 4:00 meeting on time. She taught me that I just needed to re-focus on my priorities. This issue has been a struggle for me for a long time.

So, as I sit here in the wee hours of the morning (having been awakened once again by a 7-month old who is still not sleeping through the night-God's way of reminding me, AGAIN, that I do not have it all together) I realize - through the Lord's leading, I'm sure...that I need to re-focus.

It is at this point that my fellow soldiers in the trenches would resort to a prescription drug to help them get back into alignment. That sounds very nice to me right now. Very nice indeed. But I am going to attempt to make the harder choice and actually plow through the muck. I need to make some difficult sacrifices in order to make room for the necessary things. Good is sometimes the enemy of Best. I cannot do this on my own, as God is reminding me constantly. But, I know there are some things that need to take a back seat. Blogging is one of them.

Blogging is my outlet. Well, one of them. But, it has become a crutch. I use it for "me" time in the mornings, but it can easily turn into an all-day adventure moving from one blog to another until I feel I've had my fill. Meanwhile, there is laundry and errands and a 3 year-old in desperate need of a spanking, uh-hem, I mean, attention.

In an effort to put first things first I am taking a bloggy break to spend time focusing on my God, my family, my body, my children and my home. It may come as a surprise to you, but I cannot do it all (as I've said before, especially not all at the same time.) Baby number 5 has officially catapulted this family into more than I can handle, and I need to look through that camera again and re-focus. Here's a peek at my to-do list which haunts me everynight...

Read Beth Moore study for next week
Re-paint John's room
Move Peter into John's room
Move baby Rachel into Ruth's room
Train Gideon to come when he's called (before I lose him)
Read Andrew Peterson's new book and blog about it
Add BooMama and Half Pint House to sidebar
Exercise
Plan weekend getaway with hubby (which is coming up in 2 weeks!)
Call baseball parents to see who'll volunteer to be team mom
Train Rachel to sleep through the night (all my tried and true tricks haven't worked)
Organize scrapbook stuff
Vacuum the house
Find a pre-school for Gideon for this fall
Clean trash out of backyard to make spring a little more enjoyable!
Take a nap

Ok, you get the idea. I need a maid.

I'll be back after the dust has settled.

Look at THIS Book!

It's Monday so it's time to exchange book ideas. The last time we talked about your favorite series to read aloud to your children. Thanks so much for the great ideas. Right now we are reading the Jesus Storybook Bible, and that's been fun.

Today, I want to hear about a book that changed your life. No pressure or anything. Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers changed me. It changed the way I look at people who were raised differently than I was, it changed the way I read the Bible, it changed the way I think about the Old Testament, it changed the way I look at sin. And, most people I've talked to who have read the book have similar reactions. The friend that recommended it to me told me that the reason she first read it was because her uncle had read it years prior and he was "still learning lessons from it today." I've found that to be true for me as well. I am still learning lessons from Redeeming Love even though I read it in 2002.

Here's a brief synopsis, but I won't spoil it for those of you who haven't read it. Redeeming Love is the fictional retelling of the book of Hosea. It feels like the book was set in the late 1800s where the main character was a child prostitute. Her redeemer is a man of God who follows the Lord's leading to rescue her from a life of sin. If you can get passed the first chapter (it could be rated R) then you can make it through the whole book. Although, if you have abuse in your past, it might take you a while to work through the feelings the book conjures up.

So, what's your story - a book that changed your life?

Connecting through Worship

My sister gave us tickets to the Steven Curtis Chapman concert last week. Since then, I have been on a SCC kick checking his blogs and reading about his adoption ministry. Steven's appeal has evolved from entertaining, contemporary Christian music to passionate ministry outreaches and now into a shining example of how an entire family can join together to serve the Lord through music and ministry. Forgive me for posting another You Tube bit by SCC. But this one features Chris Tomlin - the 2 of them together, now that's WOW Worship!

The Missing Link

This is why I won't be posting in the next few days. You never know how much you use the letter E until it's taken away. And, have I mentioned how much I love 3 year olds?

Deception Can Be A Beautiful Thing

My friend got me the Deceptively Delicious cookbook for my birthday. And I AM LOVING IT! Yes, the recipes are easy and delicious - but what I'm really loving is deceiving the grumbles out of my herd. This week has been so much fun! If you haven't jumped on the bandwagon, here's the idea: puree some veggies that your kids are likely to never eat and then mix them in with what you are already cooking. Serve it up and your kids never know they just got a whopping dose of antioxidants and Vitamin C. It's a beautiful thing to sit at the dinner table and smile while Peter gobbles down his vegetables. What's even better is when he turns to me and says, "Thanks Mom for making the food I like!" I am counting down the days until he's an adult and I can spring the surprise on him. What? You don't like sweet potatoes? Really? Huh, that's funny....you've been eating them in your French Toast for the last 10 years!!! MMWAHH-HA-HA!

Here's what I've done so far or plan to do this week....
sweet potatoes in French Toast
spinach in ground beef/tacos
squash in mac & cheese
cauliflower in scrambled eggs

My cookbook is by Jessica Seinfeld. There is also a cookbook/website, published earlier by Missy Chase Lapine which has even easier tips for hiding vegetables in your kids food.

Noise To God

We've had our share of bumps and bruises these last few weeks. We have cabin fever and the kids are literally bouncing off the walls. Just this evening, Gideon (3) banged his head on the wall during a pillow fight. I was comforting him and said, "Calm down and be quiet so we can pray for you." John (7) piped in, "Uh, Mom, God can hear us through all the noise." Thanks for that reminder.

Choosing Children

UPDATE: There is a good discussion going on at Mommy Life about this question. Barbara posted it for me - I asked for her input - and others have weighed in on the topic.

A friend recently told me that she and her husband are thinking about not having children. She asked for my input and below is my response to her. (This is what you'd call ranting and raving, hence the name of this blog.) If you are a couple who has chosen not to have children I am sure you have very good reasons for your decision. But, I have yet to come across Believers who can in good conscience choose not to bring life into the world.

I'm assuming my position is obvious. Are you thinking of adopting or just no kids at all? Is this something you believe God has told you or is this your plan? I firmly believe that God created the institution of marriage for the express purposes of 1) helping our spouse fulfill the plan God has for him/her 2) to raise up an army of little God-followers. (Like arrows in his quiver....) Choosing to not have children once you are married is like choosing to travel to a tropical island, but opting to stay inside the airport the whole time. What's the point? Don't get me started. Oh, wait - you already did. The main reasons I hear couples choose to not have children is because of a) money, b) the desire to keep things the way they are/fear of the unknown, c) careers are first priority, d) ministry opportunities aren't family friendly, e) fear of failure

.

She responded..."Our main worry is that we are too selfish to be good parents, and that our ministry isn't well suited for children."

I agree that ministry requires a lot of time and effort. You have to decide if this is what God is calling you to do for this season, or for your lifetime. I tend to believe we live our life in seasons. Rarely are we doing the same thing 20 years from now - if so maybe we aren't growing the way God wants. If you choose ministry over children and go so far as to prevent pregnancy what does that say about the level of trust you have in God. Can't He give us the provision to do both? If God wants you to be so commited to this ministry that you shouldn't become parents then maybe He'll prevent pregnancy?

Also - the selfishness factor. We are ALL too selfish to become good parents. That's the work of grace in our lives. Being a parent is the closest resemblance to the love God has for us in that He gave us His only Son. (I would venture to say that adoption is an even clearer picture of what God does for us.) When you become a mother something spiritual happens. You are totally given over to another human. You care about them more than yourself. You think about their needs more than your own. It is agape love at it's best human definition. I fail daily. My selfishness creeps in daily. It is hard - it is very, very hard; but there is no greater joy... and that is an understatement.

When I read the Bible, there are dozens of scriptures which assume that women have children. I have never read Paul say, "If you decide to become a mother." It is an assumed role in that is how God created women.

I know there are thousands of Believers who desire children but are experiencing infertility. I pray for those families and hope that God chooses to expand their family either through pregnancy or adoption. It is not these families that I am addressing, but rather those who have chosen NOT to expand their family beyond the husband and wife relationship.

What's your feeling on this?

Don't Like It - Switch!

One of the best things I've learned from Barbara's journey from Evangelical to Catholic is that we in the Protestant world have too much of a smorgasboard mentality. Don't like the worship leader? Go to another church! Don't think women should wear pants? Find a church that supports dresses only. Don't like the pastor's preaching style? Find a church where Sunday morning consists of 3 songs and a poem. We use our freedom in Christ as an excuse for this lack of commitment.

This article just popped up on My Yahoo. Seems like Evangelicals aren't the only ones.

From America's Unfaithful Faithful by David Van Biema...

"The report does not speculate on the implications of its data. But Lugo suggests, 'What it says is that this marketplace is highly competitive and that no one can sit on their laurels, because another group out there will make [its tenets] available' for potential converts to try out. While this dynamic 'may be partly responsible for the religious vitality of the American people,' he says, 'it also 'suggests that there is an institutional loosening of ties,' with less individual commitment to a given faith or denomination."

Look at THIS Book!

This is the first in a series of posts where we'll take a look at our favorite books on a certain topic. (No, this isn't Oprah's Book Club. I'm no where near that serious. I need mush for my brain.) In between diapers, homeschooling, errands and breathing - I like to read. That's a hard thing for me admit. See, I attended law school (didn't finish) and each night we were required to read about 200 pages. At the end of that year, I swore I'd never pick up another book as long as I lived. Two hundred pages is a lot of reading, people! Reading was the last thing I wanted to do for fun! That was then. Things change. And now I enjoy it. But, I don't have hours to spend browsing Amazon or the library to figure out which book to read next. I usually rely on the recommendations of friends. As I've mentioned before, Francine Rivers' books are always on the top of my list. But, I've read everything she's written and until a new one comes out I need some ideas. Here's where you come in.

Every week I will post a book recommendation and ask you to share your ideas as well. What fiction book are you currently reading? Who is your favorite biography? Which cookbook do you turn to in a pinch? Which books do you choose for your children? What book changed your life?

I plan to post Look at THIS Book! every Monday, but don't hold me to it. I'm going to do my best to be here for you every Monday with a good book recommendation. This is assuming there are no trips to the emergency room, laundry catastrophes or sick children in the mix. That could hold things up a bit. (I know today is not Monday, we've had 2 snow days and it feels like Wednesday, so what's your point?)

Here goes....

FAVORITE BOOK SERIES TO READ ALOUD TO YOUR CHILDREN

I'm asking b/c we've never accomplished this goal. I have lists of suggestions, but we haven't found a good system for getting this done at our house. As a child, my favorite book series was Love Comes Softly by Janette Oke. I really don't remember much about the series, just that I enjoyed the process of reading this with my mom and my sister.

Now it's your turn. Don't let me down, even you lurkers out there are welcome to join in. You do not have to have a blog to post a comment, and you do not have to sign up with Google to contribute. You can be anonymous if you like, or you can link us to your blog so we can read more of your ideas.

Let's Go!

Abandonment

After living vicariously through Shannon and the bloggers' trip to Uganda, I find myself in an odd place. Do I sell all my possessions and give my money to the poor? Do I continue to live in my over-indulgent, Wal-Martified, super-sized world? Where's the balance? I'm not sure yet.

Last night my husband was reading and listening to Jeff Deyo (one of our favorite worship leaders.) Here's a quote that I won't easily forget...

We need to speak and live out this quote from a national pastor who was later martyred in Zimbabwe Africa:
"The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made; I'm a disciple of His! I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I'm finished with low living, sight walking, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, worldly talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals. I no longer need preeminence, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, depend on His presence, walk by patience, am uplifted by prayer, and labor with power. That's what it means to be a disciple of Jesus."

What's Your Gift?

If you have been in church for any amount of time, chances are you have been asked about your spiritual gift. Go here to see what gifts God has given you to use to bless others. As for me? No surprise. I scored high on the Administration/Hospitality questions and embarrasingly low on the Mercy/Intercession questions. What does that mean? I like to be in charge and need to pray for compassion! What's your gift?

A Must Read

I'm assuming you are reading this. If you are online at all, and if you've ever read a blog then you've got to read this. There is a team of bloggers in Uganda right now on a trip with Compassion International. Every day I read about their journey and tears fill my eyes. We are so blessed. God help me to remember that.

Day to Day

As a stay-at-home mom, most days I feel like I haven't gotten anything worth while accomplished. I have my to-do lists, I run essential errands, and I feed the masses. But it's easy to look at the world around me and feel like what I'm doing under this roof doesn't mean much in the grand scheme of things.

I know better. In my heart I know that I am planting seeds for the future. I know that today's work won't be rewarded for another 10 years or so. I know when I'm 60 I'll look back on my life and be glad that I made this sacrifice.

But, then there are days (lots of them) when I can't see the forest for the trees. Bickering siblings, rising grocery bills, multiple laundry piles and shower-less days seem to pile up more quickly than good stuff.

This song made me cry and made me stop and remember why I'm doing this. Maybe you feel discouraged, too? Please listen and know you are changing the world One Heartbeat At A Time.

When I Was A Kid

Does your child have an imagination? That seems like a stupid question, but really think about it. When you turn off the tv or the computer can your child entertain himself? Pete at The Rabbit Room has me thinking about this because of his experiences with teenage boys...

Often when boys are asked what they want to do when they grow up, they don’t have an answer, not even a wild and crazy one like ‘be a rapper’ or ‘play in the NFL’, they just shrug. They’ve never thought about it because they’ve been spoon fed their entertainment for the whole of their short lives and have never had to entertain themselves with their own imaginations.

Read the whole article here.

Things Have Changed

Over at Scribbit she wrote about her daughter's reaction to a rated PG movie. I don't think being the youngest (or oldest or middlest) is a curse, but there sure is a new set of rules! For example...I let Gideon get away with things that I never (ever in a gazillion years) would have even contemplated letting Peter say or do. But, then again 7 years have passed between parenting them. What's in store for Rachel? Oh, my.

How you know he's not an only child....
*he runs through the kitchen yelling, "I Anakin, I kill Darth Vader!"
*I hear him say, "Shut Up!" in the other room and when I address the issue with him, he immediately says, "I not say it, John did!"
*while our family sits in a gym full of cheering fans, he runs off by himself to use the restroom and comes back without blinking an eye that something could be awry
*He says, "Mom can I play Lego Star Wars after I drink my chloklut milk?" (ummm...no)
*while the other children squiggle and writhe while I'm giving them haircuts, Gideon brings the haircutting kit to me at least once a week asking if it's his turn yet
*I walk in the kitchen to find him climbing up into the freezer to retreive a popscicle (the one I told him he couldn't have 5 minutes ago)
*he dresses himself (I'll just leave it at that.)

The Student or The Money...Which Is More Important?

This article from the New York Times looks at the rising numbers of students who are being taught at home using online programs, some funded by public school systems. But, when the experts take a look at the benefits of these public-school-at-home programs they almost always refer to the loss of money the programs create. Never mind that the children are benefitting and receiving (sometimes) a higher level of education.

Despite enthusiastic support from parents, the schools have met with opposition from some educators, who say elementary students may be too young for Internet learning, and from teachers, unions and school boards, partly because they divert state payments from the online student’s home district.

Does It Take Good Preaching To Be A Good Preacher?

Just read this article at Crosswalk. Here's an excerpt...

Preaching may seem foolish to a generation steeped in high-tech entertainment, clever comedic monologues, and spectacular imagery and sound. But preaching has always seemed foolish to those outside the pale of faith. The problem is not that preaching is foolish to unbelievers. The problem is that preaching has become foolish—through mere adequacy—to those who claim to be followers of Christ.

A Few Observations

This year, our two oldest children are in "real" school. We are homeschooling John, and of course Gideon and Rachel are at home. Now that half the year has passed, I feel like I have a grasp on the differences between real school and homeschool. Here are a few observations...

Real School
gives Mom a break
children respect other adults
children make new friends
we are all worn out at night
family spends a lot of time in the van
family is governed by school calendar
parents make new friends
we all get up early
children deal with boy/girl awkwardness

Homeschool
Mom has no free time
children respect their family
children become close friends w/ their siblings
we all have relaxed evenings
family spends majority of time at home
family operates on our own calendar
parents swim around in a fishbowl
we stay in our jammies all day
children don't recognize the weirdness of the other gender

Notice: positives and negatives on both sides and this is just skimming the surface. My heart is still drawn toward homeschooling because I think the benefits outweigh the negatives. However, as I said earlier, we are not hard-core homeschoolers. We take one year at a time, and try to discover what each individual child needs. All in all this has been (and continues to be) a great experience with real school. The school is superb, the teachers are caring, and the friendships will last a lifetime.

Party Planner

I just read that Megan is planning her daughter's birthday party, and it reminded me of how much I love to do this for my own children. We've had a Dress-Up party complete w/ a nail salon and a fashion show. We've had a Barnyard Puppet party complete w/ a puppet theater and face painting. We've had a Wild About Horses party complete w/ horse rides, cowboy hats, and the horseshoe game. All of these were very low-cost parties to plan, and the kids remember them for years to come.

I love the whole process of it. We have children in every season of the year, and they are allowed to have a big party on their odd-numbered birthdays. (Thereby not breaking the bank for Mom and Dad and teaching them a little patience and expectancy in the process.)

John's birthday is next and this year he gets to have a big party. I, of course, have grand plans for planning the party myself and making it all unique and what not. But, as the kids get older (especially boys) I'm learning they don't care much for the do-it-yourself kind of deal. They want action! I'm a little too much of a girl to provide that of my own volition. Hence, the decision to rent out a party room at one of the popular (loud, germ infested, overpriced, testosterone filled) entertainment venues. So much for creativity. BUT, at the end of the day I'll have nothing to clean up and a little pooped-out boy with a freckled-face grin.

Birth Rate In America Way Up

UPDATE: Check out this article in Time Magazine where the writer attempts to explain why More Is Merrier.

According to this article by AP Medical Writer, Mike Stobbe, the birth rate in the U.S. is way up. Here's an excerpt...

Bucking the trend in many other wealthy industrialized nations, the United States seems to be experiencing a baby boomlet, reporting the largest number of children born in 45 years...

Experts believe there is a mix of reasons: a decline in contraceptive use, a drop in access to abortion, poor education and poverty.

Could it be due to perhaps HIGHER education and more informed couples who are realizing the whole "population squeeze" theory is incorrect, and having big families is not a drain on society but rather good for our culture?

The last sentence of his article hints at it, but doesn't elaborate...

The influence of certain religions in those latter regions is an important factor, said Ron Lesthaeghe, a Belgian demographer who is a visiting professor at the University of Michigan. "Evangelical Protestantism and Mormons," he said.

Christianity and Liberalism

As I've mentioned before, I am trying to find my place in the categorized, denominational, seeker-sensitive, relevant, smorgasboard of modern theology. I don't know where I belong, but I know where I don't.

My friend wrote a book review and I wanted to note his thoughts on Christianity and Liberalism ...

Read this book and it will change your world. Preach this and people will call you intolerant, narrow, and divisive. Great. Christianity is what it is. Being steadfast and faithful to the Word of God and to the doctrines it contains is not popular, but it is the difference between life and death. Jesus, Peter, and Paul were not tolerant or broad-minded when it came to what Christianity was (and is) and why it was necessary to believe certain things. Too many people today who call themselves Christians believe that they are believers and love Jesus. The problem is that they don’t hold to what the Bible states, and they believe in a Jesus that is not Biblical.

The Recipe For Kristin

3 parts Genius 2 parts Poise 1 part Charm Splash of Attractiveness Sip slowly on the beach

What's the Recipe for Your Personality?

Ok, well that made me smile. I'm not sure I like the fact that there's only a splash of attractiveness, but hey... THREE parts genius aint so bad ;)

Works For Me - Books For Boys

This week at Shannon's, she's hosting Works For Me Wednesday Backwards Edition. Here we ask for your help. I'd like to know what your favorite books are for boys to read (grades 3 and 4.)

For Christmas, we gave our children these books and they have been totally worth the money. But, I know I'm going to need some other wholesome choices hanging around the house for my son to pick up. What do you suggest?

All Done

I finally finished the last book in the novella series by Francine Rivers. She wrote 10 books in all: 5 about Biblical men and 5 about Biblical women. I just recently completed Silas. I am so glad I invested my time in these books. Even though they are a quick read, the books are full of thought-provoking dialogue that sends me back to Scripture time and time again.

The series on women featured historical fiction stories about Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba and Mary. The men had their turn with stories about Aaron, Caleb, Jonathan, Amos and Silas.

My favorite in the women's series was Tamar where I learned to not judge another culture. But then again, Rahab helped me learn about how God draws us all to Him, Ruth helped me learn about devotion, Bathsheba helped me learn about steadfastness, and Mary helped me learn about patience.

My favorite in the men's series was Caleb where I learned about submission. Aaron helped me learn about God's love, Jonathan helped me learn about ties that bind, Amos helped me learn about staying strong through the long-term, and Silas helped me learn about God's precious Word.

I was never intrigued by characters such as Amos and Tamar until I read these books. Now I think about them frequently. Thank you again, Mrs. Rivers for placing these centuries-old individuals into my everyday life. After I've read her books I see Scripture in a whole new light.

Huckabee On Education

Here is the transcript of an interview w/ Mike Huckabee by Terence P. Jeffrey. In the interview Huckabee specifically answers questions about his view of school vouchers, homeschooling, and teaching about God in the public schools. He sounds typically politically blah-blah, BUT he does answer the questions. I could do without all the self-promotion but I guess that's what running for President is about these days. May the Best Marketing Team win!

Pet Lovers

We are not a pet family. We try, but it just doesn't work out. My husband and I both had pets (sort of) growing up, but neither of us are pet people as adults and I'm afraid, our children have inherited this trait. How can I tell, you ask? Well, I just took a glimpse of the fish tank and to what did my wandering eye appear? Floating among the 4 (out of 10) fish we have left are a sippy cup, a bungee cord, a Lego guy and a stray piece of paper. I wish I were, but really I'm not even joking. I would post a picture but I'm afraid I would be reported to the Animal Welfare Office.

What Am I?

Like, I've said before I'm pretty black and white. But, lately I've been on a spiritual journey to figure out what I am. I know to Whom I belong, but this world gets caught up in labels and with all the camps floating around I'd like to know which one I would be grouped with. Pentecostal, Reformist, Charismatic, Emergent, Conservative, what?

Molly took this theological quiz, and so did I. Turns out (according to the quiz) that I'm..... drumroll please.....Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan. {Oh-kay?} I don't remember driving by a church with that kind of a sign. Now, I'm more confused. Anyway...
here are my results. Take the quiz for yourself.

You scored as a Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan
You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists.
Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 68%
Fundamentalist 57%
Neo orthodox 50%
Reformed Evangelical 50%
Classical Liberal 46%
Charismatic/Pentecostal 43%
Emergent/Postmodern 39%
Roman Catholic 29%
Modern Liberal 11%

Think I'll check out a Wesley book the next time I'm at the library, since I'm "influenced heavily" by him and all.

Another thing, since I'm Holiness now (whatever) here are some quotes gathered from a former pastor.

Mean Moms

We're back after spending the holiday out of town. My step-sister sent this to me and it was just what I needed after a tough 4 days where my kids did not behave as well as I wanted them to for their relatives.

Mean Moms

Someday when my children are old enough to
Understand the logic that motivates a parent,
I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:
I loved you enough to ask where you were going,
With whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you
Discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for
Two hours while you cleaned your room,
A job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger,
Disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children
Must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the
Responsibility for your actions even when the
Penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all.
I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to
Understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Was your Mom mean?
I know mine was.
We had the meanest mother in the whole world!
While other kids ate candy for breakfast,
We had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.


When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch,
We had to eat sandwiches.


And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
Different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times.
You'd think we were convicts in a prison.


She had to know who our friends were
And what we were doing with them.
She insisted that if we said we
Would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it,
But she had the nerve to break
The Child Labor Laws by making us work.


We had to wash the dishes, make the beds,
Learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry,
Empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs.
I think she would lie awake at night
Thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth,
The whole truth, and nothing but the truth.


By the time we were teenagers,
She could read our minds
And had eyes in the back of her head.
Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk
The horn when they drove up
They had to come up to the door
So she could meet them.


While everyone else could date
When they were 12 or 13,
We had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out
On lots of things other kids experienced.

None of us have ever
Been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's
Property or ever arrested for any crime.
It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults.
We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.

I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

She's Back!

One of my favorite bloggers is back. Molly at Adventures in Mercy took a break from her blog to work on her degree, but now she's back. I've missed reading her. I added her link to my favorites list below. But, here's a quote from one of her most recent posts...

And I think most of us agree that it is sadly evident, in real life, to tell between the children who’ve had parents invest in them versus children who’ve been left to themselves. Parents who are unwilling to help move their kids into better ways of thinking and behaving are loving themselves more than they love their kids.

She's got a great series on parenting going on over there. Check it out.

Works For Me - Sound Machines

God bless the person who decided to record random sounds and package them in a machine for all to buy. Sound machines are wonderful if you have a baby napping and a rowdy pre-schooler pounding up and down the stairs. Or if your husband works the night shift and the rest of your family isn't so nocturnal. During one of our out-of-state moves, we were in a 2 bedroom apartment for a few months. Six people and 2 bedrooms doesn't add up. Sooooooo, in an attempt to maximize every bit of space we used the large laundry room as sleeping quarters for the baby. We plunked down his playpen and set up the beloved sound machine. The sound machine made it possible for him to take naps while the rest of us lived our lives right outside his door. I know, I know - I should train the other children to be quiet during naps, and to not pound up and down the stairs. And, I know I should train the baby to not be such a light sleeper. But, then reality sets in. I got to the point where I was telling all the other children "Shh!" "Be quiet!" "Settle down!" every time the baby napped. Now, with 2 sound machines working around the clock the babies get good sleep, and the rest of us don't have to tiptoe around them.

By the way, these come in really handy in a crowded hotel room or camper.

For more Works For Me tips go to Rocks In My Dryer.

I'm Leaning That Way

I haven't decided who I'm voting for in 2008. Right now there's too many cooks in the kitchen. But, I have to admit... I like what I'm learning about Mike Huckabee. He is on Larry King tonight and I am so impressed with his honesty, straight forwardness and resolve. Does that make for a good president? I haven't decided yet, but right now - I like what I'm hearing.

Keeping Christ in Christmas

I don't like December. Oh, around October I get excited about the holiday season and I start to make my list and check it twice. But, then it arrives and it is always (ALWAYS) more stressful than I remember. I tell myself - next year I'm going to remember this and make things less hectic. But, then it happens again. I am doing a better job of saying no to all the Christmas parties, cookie exchanges and White Elephant gift grabs. But, to no avail. I long to spend quality time with the friends and family that I cherish. But, that free time just gets eaten up by some sort of holiday goblin that robs an hour here and there.

Now that my oldest children are getting..well..older, I am trying to think of creative ways to establish Christmas traditions and keep Jesus front and center of the chaos. My friend gave me this suggestion and tonight I purchased the necessities to make it happen. She heard about the idea of putting a special gift under the tree for Jesus. One family member gets to open the box and share w/ everyone else what's inside. Inside the box is a mirror. I'm sure you can imagine the inspiring conversation that will ensue.

So, this year I'm going to do the Jesus box, and I am hanging a stocking for Jesus up on our mantle. Hopefully, when our children look at their empty stockings with longing they will see the Jesus stocking and be reminded of His eternal gift to us.

How do you keep Christ in Christmas for your family?

Works For Me Wednesday - Kids & Parking Lots

It's been a few weeks since I posted a Works For Me Wednesday hosted by Shannon. Yesterday, as I was shuttling kids to and from various errands I remembered a great tip to share with you. I'm not sure how I came up with this, but for the last decade it has worked to keep our children safe in a parking lot of busy cars. Actually I thought everyone did it, but then a few moms told me they'd never heard it before.

We have a lot of kids, so when I am unloading them I often cannot eyeball the first few kids who emerged from the vehicle. So, from the time they are old enough to stand alone they are instructed to "stand on the white/yellow line." When a child gets out of the car and I am busy with other children I tell them to stand on the line and they know what to do. It's a great boundary for them and when I'm ready to walk across the parking lot, my kids are all there in a nice, neat line ready to go. So simple and keeps kids so safe.

It works for me!

Praise Baby

We love this product! This praise music and DVD set are much like the Baby Einstein products, but better. Sometimes I choose this CD to listen to in the kitchen while I'm cleaning. It is precious and so soothing.

Baby Praise is offering the first 300 bloggers a free bib and coupon. Check it out!

Going Postal

I had a babysitter come over today so I could run some holiday-ish errands without dragging all the kids in and out of 300 stores.

One of those errands was a stop at the Post Office. This job had been on my to-do list for about 3 weeks. I kept adding it to my new to-do list because you know how much fun the Post Office is, especially this time of the year.

I couldn't put it off any longer - today was the day. So, I schlepped myself in the door carrying a box, a baby and my debit card. The fewer pieces of luggage (I mean, diaper bags) I carry in public the better. Because the Post Office is oh so family-friendly anyway.

So, as I was waiting in line with the other 9 people in front of me (yes, I counted them) I tried my best to keep a good attitude. "I am thankful to live in a country where we have a Post Office." I kept repeating to myself.

I will admit - we had a good flow going. The people in line were doing their best to move it right along. I'm sure they had a million other things to do that day too. The two (count em, TWO) Postal Workers were doing a wonderful job of maintaining the holiday spirit by working quickly. Gone are the days of seasonal chit chat...get in, get out and keep your mouth shut.

Then, it happened. We had a stall in the progress. Was it from a computer failure? No. Was it from a doddling customer? No. The line came to a halt when the Postal Workers had to take a quick break to .... get their mail.

Huh?

Did you know that the Postman delivers mail to the Post Office?

Me neither.

Let me get this straight....the mail comes into the Post Office, you let it leave with a Postman/Delivery Person so that it can be delivered right back to you. That's a well-oiled machine we are talking about right there.

What's even more odd is that I looked around and no one else else seemed to think this was odd. Am I that sheltered from the outside world?

I got my stamps, shipped my package and hit the door jack. Insanity is knocking at my door. I can hear it.

Cell Search

The stem cell initiative is losing supporters. Sadly, my fellow citizens succumbed to the pressure and voted to support state-funded research. So now my tax dollars are being used to study and promote embryonic stem cells. However, the tides are changing. This article describes how the Dolly cloner has changed her tune. Why? Now there is technology available to produce stem cells without using an embryo. And the discoveries just keep rolling in! Go here to learn about banking menstrual blood for stem cell research. I agree that there is the potential for wonderful medical breakthroughs using the unique physiology of a stem cell. But, I do not believe we should be manipulated by celebrity advertisements and political endorsements which misinform us that embryonic stem cell research is the only way to win the fight against deadly diseases. Sounds like another Tower of Babel to me. If we start acting too much like God He'll knock us down a few notches and we'll be more confused than when we started.

A Call To Prayer

It's not often that I hear something new at church. I was raised in a wonderful non-denominational body of Believers, and sometimes it seems like I've seen it all and heard it all at some point in the last 30 years. But, this weekend I experienced something I had never heard before.

My husband and I were able to skip out of town for a 2 day break. No children, no schedule, no tv. It was wonderful. [Thanks to my sister for making it all possible ;) ] One of the things we did manage to squeeze in our "no agenda" weekend was a visit to IHOP. No, not for pancakes.

IHOP or The International House of Prayer is....just that. Inside this building there is 24/7 prayer and worship. What we witnessed was the closest thing I've seen to the heartbeat of God. Ongoing prayer, fasting, teaching and oh my, the worship. What we heard couldn't really be called worship as it is known in the modern day church. These sounds were raw prayers set to heavenly melodies. There are IHOPs all over the country, and after our brief visit I can tell you - I want to go back and spend some time camped out in that place. There's an IHOP in Atlanta, Phoenix, Cincinnati, Denver, Talahassee, Kansas City and all over the world!

As we walked out the door I was thinking about revival. That's what I felt like sitting among a congregation of 90% young people who were digging into the Word of God, praying without ceasing and singing spontaneous psalms to the Lord.

Historically, spiritual revivals have resulted from the long-term prayers of a committed group of Believers. I'm no prophet - but I know the Lord hears the heart cry of the IHOPpers and I, for one, will rejoice when He answers their prayers and they reap a huge harvest. I am glad to be alive right now to witness the amazing things this generation of young people will accomplish for the Lord.

Some others also believe God is ready to rain down His power on this fertile soil. Read here about the I-35 prophesies.

Go here to learn more about IHOP and if you are driving through the area, say around 3am stop in for spell. The Lord will meet you there.

What's In A Name?

My husband and I watched the movie, Elizabethtown last night. It wasn't that great. One part of the story which I thought was interesting though was the lead character's description of what a person's name means to her. For example, she said, "I've never had a good experience with an Ellen."

Today, I read this article from the Christian Science Monitor. According to the article, you can go here and pay someone to tell you what they think your child's name should be. It amazes me that people put so much stock in what other people think about their baby's name.

As I wrote earlier, we decided to use Biblical names for our children. It didn't start out that way, but after 2 or 3 have Bible names you can't really digress. I mean, would it make any sense to have a Matthew, Mark, Luke and Jasmine?

I love names. Even when I am not expecting a baby, and long before I was married, I would think about names and write all the different variations when I should have been paying attention during church.

How did you come up with your child's name? As I said, ours is a mix of Bible names and family names and names we just, plain like. And I didn't pay anyone to tell me that.

Legos & Planes

Gideon spilled a big bucket of Legos all over the floor.
I bent down to the floor and started picking up a few of the gazillion pieces and I said, "Gideon, come here and help Mommy clean up."
He replies, "I don't want to." (surprise, surprise)
I continue to pluck pieces out of the carpet, and I said, "Gideon, it's time to clean up."
He starts to throw a few Legos toward the bucket while acting like his wrist stopped working. He says in a dramatic, whiny voice, "I caaaaan't and I TI-erd!"
I said, (a little more loudly this time), "Gideon, clean up the Legos and do NOT complain!"
He said, "I not a plane Mom, I'n a kid!"
Yep - Numero uno training expert right here.

Double Standard Emphasizes Color Barrier

Back in the day, when Oral Roberts' son, Richard, divorced his first wife the Evangelical community was in an uproar. I was just a child then and I remember my parents talking about this controversy.

In August, televangelist Paula White and her husband, Randy, confirmed that they were divorcing. Nothing has changed. Randy is still the pastor at Without Walls in Tampa, and Paula is continuing her tv appearances and book tours.

In contrast, last year when Ted Haggard's infidelities were revealed it made headline news and the leaders of the Christian community welcomed his resignation.

Why the double standard? Is it because Pastor Haggard's sin involved homosexuality. Is it because Randy and Paula had been divorced before they got married? Divorce is divorce and adultery is adultery, and the last time I checked churches were still preaching that no sin is more grievous than another.

In my view, parishioners in predominantly black churches are more forgiving of irreconcilable differences than their white brothers and sisters. Randy White's church in Tampa is a predominantly black church. Other black church leaders have divorced and even been part of scandalous affairs and abuse cases. But that doesn't seem to affect their jobs. Why?

Are white church members more judgemental than black church members? Over the years, Evangelicals have been trying to erase the color barrier and it has worked beautifully in some churches. However, this view of divorce and infidelity is an example where our cultures are vastly different and perhaps one reason why churches are still largely segregated.

Works For Me Wednesday - Angel Food Ministries

With 5 kids, my pantry is almsot always bare. Someone should send a label with these children, "WILL EAT NONSTOP FOR NEXT 10 YEARS." So, I am always on the lookout for a way to avoid the grocery store while still keeping their bellies full.

For the last few months, our family has been enjoying the blessing of Angel Food Ministries. This is an organization that provides grocery relief for anyone who wants to participate. There are no restrictions regarding income or need. Anyone can participate.

Once a month you can order food from Angel Food. You pay about $25 for a box of food that is usually worth $60 or more. You pick up the box you ordered from a participating church. If you want, you can order more than 1 box and additional specialty boxes. You must order in advance and pay in advance. If you do not pick up your box at the designated time then the church donates that food to the needy.

Some of the food we've enjoyed includes hamburger patties, frozen sausage, blueberry muffins, waffles, fresh carrots, popcorn chicken, pork tenderloin, and more.

If you are interested in finding out if there is a church in your area participating go to www.angelfoodministries.org and start ordering! Now, I'm on my way to pick up some more food : )

For more Works For Me Wednesday tips go here.

Kids Worship!

Hillsong is by far my favorite music. Our family has been listening to their worship music in our home since the mid 90s. While looking for Christmas gift ideas, I came across this. What do you think about kids worshipping like this?

Willow Creek Changes Their Tune

In the last 10 years a wave of seeker-sensitivity has hit churches across this country. Pastors went from preaching the gospel, to delivering relevant messages about self-esteem and relationships. Churches went from being a house where individuals could grow spiritually, to a place where our waistlines are growing from Starbucks and donuts. Classes used to focus on studying Matthew, Mark, Luke or John and now focus on hosting satelitte seminars from Maxwell, Barna and Osteen.

I have held off long enough, but my red head is about to blow. I've wavered back and forth, but the bottom line is........I do not believe in the seeker-sensitivity movement of today's churches. I believe what the Bible says is true. Yes, the gospel is offensive. But, we are to preach it anyway. "Through Him and for His name's sake, we received grace and apostleship to call people from among all the Gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith." Romans 1:5

Evidently, the founders of this dumbed-down system have realized their error.

Check out this article where Willow Creek admits they are wrong.

I have 2 observations about this article: 1) it took a multi-year study for them to figure out this doesn't work? I'm no theologian and I coulda told you that. It's contrary to the Word of God - therefore it is by definition bound for failure. 2) Kudos to Willow Creek for disclosing the truth from the research. A lot of organizations would have sugar-coated the results and spinned them to meet their needs. Huge pats on their back for honesty.

Never Say Never

I don't know about you, but as I get older I'm learning that all those things I said I'd never do....I've done.

I said I'd never let my child have a pacifier past age 1.

I said I'd never let my child eat junk food.

I said I'd never take unruly children to the grocery store.

I said I'd never homeschool.

I said I'd never sit across from my husband at a restaurant with nothing to say.

I said I'd never drive a minivan.

I said I'd never live in a big city.

I said I'd never have more than 3 kids.

[Please make it stop!] There's only about 2 things left on my coveted list that I'm still hanging onto. I dunno when I'll learn, but here they go....

I'll never put my children in daycare.

I'll never color my hair.

Let the countdown begin.

State Seizes Baby To Perform Blood Test

I am familiar with this family through my membership on the MOMYS Digest. The Anaya family has 10 children and I remember reading Mrs. Anaya's emails about having to travel out of state to have a homebirth b/c their homestate of Nebraska had too many regulations that went against the Anaya's beliefs. Mrs. Anaya recently gave birth to a son in Nebraska. (I think the baby must have arrived early or she would have traveled to Iowa.) The Anaya's do not believe in blood testing b/c they believe life is in the blood. Therefore, they refused the newborn screen. Six weeks later, the sheriff's department barged into their home, took the baby and the judge ordered the baby had to be tested and kept in foster care until the test results came back.

This six week old baby had never been away from his mother and never had a bottle. But, what is even more grievous is the audacity of the Nebraska officials who snatched a baby from his mother's arms in order to prick him with a needle.

Here is the entire transcript of the conversation between the Anayas' attorney and Rush Limbaugh.

Someone needs to get the word out to the unsuspecting citizens of this country that we are now living in a socialist state. When is election day in Nebraska?

Just Love Him

"If you make doctrine the main thing, you are very likely to grow narrow-minded. If you make your own experience the main thing, you will become gloomy and critical of others. If you make ordinances the main thing, you will be apt to grow merely formal. But you can never make too much of the living Christ Jesus. Remember that all things else are for his sake. Doctrines and ordinances are the planets, but Christ is the sun. Get to love him best of all."
Charles Spurgeon

Parents Are More Involved Now

According to this article, parents are more involved in their children's lives now than they were 10 years ago. (I'm not sure if I would be included in this group or not since I started having babies about 10 years ago!)

Anyway, this is good news for American children; but I wonder if this research is correct and if the correct questions were asked.

Check it out.

Interview With Me

Here are 5 questions from Stephanie at Adventures In Babywearing:

1. What is your favorite childhood vacation memory?
My favorite vacation was when I was about 11 years old. Our family traveled all over my home state of Kentucky visiting all the places I'd heard about but never seen. We didn't plan much of the vacation, we just drove all over the state. We visited My Old Kentucky Home, Bardstown (liquor!) and Lincoln's birthplace. To this day, I still remember most of those landmarks.

2. What was one of the first blogs you ever read?
The first blog I read was Corrie's Pineapple Pundit. That lead me to Spunky and Mommy Life and then it spiraled out of control!

3. If you were to run into a gas station and quickly had to pick one candy to eat, what would you grab?
Snickers, of course.

4. Of all the places you've lived, which is your favorite? If you could move anywhere to stay for good, where would that be?
I have lived in 7 states, my husband has lived in 10. I can't say I have a favorite. There are things I love about each place: Texas' tourism, Kentucky's beauty, Ohio's attitude, Wisconsin's family-friendliness, Illinois' diversity, Indiana's friends, Missouri's all-in-oneness.

Stay somewhere for good? The thought has never occured to me. I don't think I'll ever land. Thirty years from now I envision myself living in an RV traveling the country to visit all my redheaded grandchildren.
5. What is your "go to" meal that you make most often?
Breakfast for supper or spaghetti and meatballs. I'm a simple girl.

Now it's your turn. If you want to be interviewed, leave me a comment including the words "Interview me." I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions. If you don't have a valid email address on your blog, please provide one. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Works For Me Wednesday - Shoeboxes

Ever wonder how other families manage to keep all the kids games stored? I do. Ours always seem to be strewn about 5 different rooms, pieces missing, or game boards ripped in two. So, now I use shoeboxes to store them. Instead of keeping the original box that the game comes in, I take out all the game pieces (sometimes using zip lock bags for little pieces) and store in a large shoebox. I'm not sure why the shoebox lid holds up better than the game box lid, but it does. So, instead of throwing out the box those new shoes came in just head to your kids' room and start sorting! You can even decorate the box to make it look cute. Works for me!

Mixed Messages

You've probably seen or read about the Maine school where 11 year-olds are receiving birth control pills. It's been all over the news. So have stories about teenagers serving jail time for having consenual sex with another teen. Anyone else confused? It's their argument (not mine)....If we give them birth control they'll use it! Ok, but why are we sending them to jail for using it? Sounds like blackmail to me. Sometimes I wish I'd finished law school.

Thanks to my friend, Jessie, for bringing this to my attention.

UPDATE: School refuses to reconsider even after threat of lawsuit. Read here.

UPDATE AGAIN: Here's an article that clearly makes my point.

The Funniest Picture EVAH!

This is what I call a PARTY! Sure wish America's Funniest Home Videos had a photo contest! Sorry, Amy - I just had to post this.

Throwing Out Birth Control (and my self-centeredness along with it)

Barbara Curtis has written a wonderful article at CrossWalk that sums up why so many Christian families have chucked popular norm and are letting God plan their family size. She says,

"As our family continued to grow, I continued to hear the same belittling banter about kids I’d heard for years – only now it was on my church steps:

“I don’t know how you do it! My two are enough to drive me crazy!”
“I’ve finally got all the kids in school. I can’t imagine having to deal with another baby!”
“I wanted more but my husband put his foot down.”
“How can you afford it?”

My heart would ache for any children in earshot. My heart would ache for the missed opportunities. And finally, my heart would ache for the misunderstanding of how it all must sound to God – who certainly never got the memo that children were a burden."

I wrote about our journey to wanting more babies here.

Happy Birthday To You!

Today Gideon is 3 years old. I told my husband last night...sometimes it seems like yesterday, but most days it feels like this has been the longest 3 years of my life. A lot has happened in our lives since Mr. Bright Eyes was born. He is the constant source of smiles in our house, and we all woke up with smiles of our own this morning just to celebrate him.

Happy Birthday Baby.

Someday I'll Stop Trying To Figure It All Out

"We see that it is not the task of Christianity to provide easy answers to every question, but to make us progressively aware of a mystery. God is not so much the object of our knowledge as the cause of our wonder."

Kallistos Ware

To Whom Much Is Given, Much Is Required

This was my motto during high school and college. I would use it conveniently during job screenings, as an election slogan and for panel interviews. At that time I really didn't understand that it was more than a good way to market myself.

Senator Brownback recently spoke at the Washington Briefing. There he emphasized two points: we need to stop abortion (therefore promoting life) and we need to reclaim American culture.

This country has a huge responsibility. Why? To whom much is given, much is required. Senator Brownback used this to explain why America is so targeted by other nations. It's like when 9/11 happened and the Mayor just went to work fixing it. When you are called to do a big job (either by appointment or by accident) then it's your opportunity to give out of the abundance of which you've been given.

God has blessed America, and we in return have much to give. Are we living up to the challenge? Are we giving what is required of us? Or are we caught up in maintaining our level of abundance that we've forgotten where it came from?

For the complete audio from Senator Brownback go here.

Go here to check out the other speakers including Chuck Colson, James Dobson, Rick Santorum, Mitt Romney and Phylis Schlafly.

How Important Is A College Education?

I graduated from college, and even went on to do some post-graduate work. I never once considered not going to college. I have been daydreaming about the future, and what my children will become. What will they choose as a career? I am praying that they will follow the Lord all the days of their lives, and accomplish His plans for their life. Does that plan automatically include college? I'm not so sure anymore.

Some parents, however, have a different view. And they are willing to pay a hefty price for it.

Check this out from Newsweek. Parents are spending thousands of dollars to ensure their children attend top-ranked schools.

What A Sixteen Year Old Has To Say

This post is from a non-Christian 16 year old boy who attends a Christian school...

I’ve never been offended once when someone has tried to convert me. I understand Christianity enough to know that people do this out of love, out of compassion, and not the need to meet an arbitrary quota of souls or something similar. I don’t know about religion, and I don’t know why we’re here, but it just seems to me that the way this is all happening isn’t the right way to find it all out.

Read the whole article...Christian Indoctrination

Children: Are They Our Converts or Our Cash Cows?

What is the goal of parenting? Why does God bless us with children? After the honeymoon wears off and we dive into the frightening realm of becoming mothers and fathers - we each have different expectations from parenthood. For many of us, we desire to experience unconditional love. For others, we live vicariously through our children so we can experience all the things we never got to do as kids ourselves. Still others have a family because that's another hurdle to cross in order to achieve the American dream.

What does God say about raising children?

Since our 2 oldest children are in "real" school now, I am realizing how little time I have with them. I am missing all sorts of teachable moments while they are at school. Their respect has switched from me to their teacher. My biggest kids are learning all sorts of wonderful things in spelling, arthimetic and science. But, at the end of the day have I accomplished the goal that the Lord set out for me as a mother?

The Bible says in Deuteronomy 4:9, "Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them." Then in 6:6-8 the Lord says, "These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead." Again in 11:18-19, "Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

Then in Psalms, the Bible tells us that our children are like arrows. "Don't you see that children are God's best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior's fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth. Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children! Your enemies don't stand a chance against you; you'll sweep them right off your doorstep."
From this I understand that my job is to teach my children the Word of the Lord. I also read that children are a blessing to me. As they grow up they will be like arrows to the enemy (if they are trained correctly.)

So, if my job is to train up children who are knowledgable about Scripture who can stand firm in their faith - why are we spending all this time memorizing the multiplication tables?

I know math is important. I know the ultimate goal of education is to give my child a chance to succeed in college and work successfully in his career of choice. But, is that God's plan for our children? Yes, the Bible says we are to work for our food but nowhere do I read that our work/career/vocation is to be the ultimate goal of life.

That's what parenting has become. We are guides who help steer our children to the best possible income. But God tells us to teach them His word when we lie down and when we wake up. (That sounds like a 24/7 job to me.) How can we do that when we are preparing them for spelling tests, science quizzes and field trips to the symphony?

Some would say that we cannot tell our children what to believe. They say we should expose them to a wide array of experiences so they can choose for themselves what they believe. But, the Bible says in Joshua 24:15, "If you decide that it's a bad thing to worship God, then choose a god you'd rather serve—and do it today. Choose one of the gods your ancestors worshiped from the country beyond The River, or one of the gods of the Amorites, on whose land you're now living. As for me and my family, we'll worship God."

The children God has given us are our responsibility to train up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. The Lord our God blesses us with offspring and he commands us to teach them His law. This is not an option. So why do we turn our children over to non-Believers at age 5 for about 8 hours a day? Why have we shifted our parenting goals from that of training Christian soldiers to training miniature athletes?

Do you have parenting goals or are you moving about daily to the beat of your calendar's drum?

A note about church....

This from a former pastor of ours and it pretty much sums up what I've been thinking....

Hey, have a rock band for an outreach gathering, and do the drama thing in the park. But don't confuse these with worship on the Lord's Day. And don't think that by dumbing everything down and seeking to offer the best show in town that lasting churches will be planted. I'm not saying it won't draw a crowd, but I have to question whether or not it will build the Kingdom.

Go here for the whole article.

Potty Training Perks

We are potty training. Enough said. The process did elicit an interesting conversation with the potty-er in training. It went like this...

Mom: "Gideon, do you need to go potty?"
Gideon: "No. Mom, God helps me go potty."
Mom: "O--K-- yes, God helps us do the things we need to do."
Gideon: "Yep, and Jesus gives me candy."
Mom: (long pause) "Can I have some?"

Don't ask me.

Sleep! Glorious Sleep!

Woo Hoo! Our newborn is sleeping through the night. Not every night, but most nights. Wow, does that make a difference in my days. Last week I elbowed by husband at 5am and whispered with glee, "Hey! Wake up! Can you believe it? She slept 8 1/2 hours!!" He responded by saying, "Hey! I know how to sleep through the night too, watch me." Some things only a mother can appreciate.

In the blogosphere it's easy to find differing opinions about Gary Ezzo's book Baby Wise. I read this in the late 90s with the birth of our first child. Like many other parents, the book gave me such relief in learning that I could manage this child rather than having to put my entire life on hold. (After 5 children I have learned there is no greater than joy than putting my life on hold for a child, but that's another topic.)

Baby Wise gave us the tools to learn how to help our children get a full feeding, and how to help them fall asleep on their own. The book and it's author are not perfect. Before I discuss the book with anyone, I always preface it by saying that this method can easily be taken to extremes. Baby Wise has to be used with much caution. However, it has worked for us.

The best advice I can give to a mother of a newborn is to help her baby (at about 4 weeks of age) have some awake-time after her feeding, then let her fall asleep. For me, that's Baby Wise in a nutshell.

Every child is different, thank God He created them that way. My children began sleeping through the night anywhere from 6 weeks to 4 months old. My methods were the same with each one. Sure, I was a little less rigid with each baby but overall I did the same thing with each child. Each one did sleep through the night, but at different ages.

Right now I am enjoying our little Rachel. She is a beautiful baby girl and such a joy to us all. I am thankful for the full nights of sleep, and even more thankful that she is healthy and therefore able to rest peacefully.

Gideon's Words

Tonight as I was getting Gideon out of the bath he did it again. He came up with another cute word. His vocabulary cracks us all up. I don't ever want to forget these, so while they are still rolling off his tongue I thought I'd make a note of them so I can always cherish this phase. He won't be a 2 year old much longer. Here are a few of our favorites.

wrinkles = sprinkles
snow cone = nose cone
thanks = fanks
I don't know = not know!
McDonald's = Mickey Don-uhls
Tahoe = Ha-hoe
WXY&Z = W wex Y & Z
robots = robops
elevator = alligator
basketball = backusball

and my all time favorite....
Mom says, "It's time to go!" Gideon says, "Five minutes!"

Americans Despise Children

Ok...calm down. Not all Americans. In our country we are vigilant about protecting children from abuse or excessive labor. But when it comes down to it, the majority of Americans do not believe children are worthy of our time and effort. Let me explain.

When I was in my teens and twenties I remember being very frustrated with parents who would bring their children to public places where they were disruptive. What was I really frustrated with? "How dare that child disrupt my opportunity to enjoy this event." If I could have put into words what my selfish nature was really feeling I would have said, "I am more important than you and your children."

I am learning that when most people have a negative attitude toward children it almost always comes down to selfishness. How else do we despise children? We make plans for someone else to take care of them as soon as we are able to return to work because we don't have time for it. (As if giving our attention to a stressed boss is more validating than teaching a child to use manners.) We pass laws that make federal funding available for pre-schools so we only have to pay for daycare for 3 years instead of 5. We look down on adults who bring their children to a restaurant. It never occurs to us that maybe, just maybe, this child is capable of behaving himself. We criticize parents who have more than 2 children as being irresponsible and not being able to control themselves. (Could it be that these people actually WANT another child to raise?) We shoove kids in age appropriate classes at church as early as 6 weeks old. If the mother chooses to keep her children with her in church we assume she has attachment issues. Could it be that she is trying to teach her child to sit and listen to the pastor teach from the Word? We launch environmental campaigns against and hurl guilt upon drivers of large vehicles.

If we truly cherished children our society would operate much differently. The workforce would not be penalized for arriving to work as late as 8am. Men would not feel guilty for being home by 6pm. Mothers would be able to stay at home without the fear of never being able to work again. Our education system would not be in such turmoil. Teachers would not bargain for new facilities, higher pay and more sick time. Our churches wouldn't be in constant need of childcare workers.

The bottom line....we want to get rid of children so we can have time to ourselves as adults. "Someone else can take care of them," we say. Until this mindset changes children will be thought of as unworthy of our time, and those who choose to be with children will be criticized.

UPDATE: Check out this article by Barbara Curtis where she addresses the selfishness issue in relation to Ezzo's Growing Kids God's Way.

States Refuse Federal Money To Fund Abstinence Programs

According to the New York Times, the state of New York (along with 10 other states) is refusing to use federal money marked to fund abstinence-only sex education programs. Is your state among them?

Non-Denominationals Watch Out....Reformists Are Taking Over!

Here are few links to prove my point. I'm just saying...those of us who've been sitting in wishy-washy, meatless, seeker-sensitive churches are on our way to attending churches with empty pews (uhh..folding chairs). These people have brains and they are using them to glorify God and reach a society who've been searching for Christianity to make sense to their brains.

David
Thinkerup
Timmy
The Reformed Gadfly
Pyromaniacs
Reformed Evangelist

Let me know where this bloggy journey takes you.

update: changed title from PRESBYTERIANS to REFORMISTS

Forgiveness Without Compassion?

I have to be honest and say that most of my adult life I have struggled with forgiveness. Let me clarify. I do not have a problem forgiving, I just can't forget. Lately I have been seeking more from God regarding the forgetfulness of forgiveness. I can't do it. Only God can do it through me. Is it easy for you to forget once someone has wronged you? Are we supposed to forget? Maybe I really haven't forgiven like I assume I have if I keep dwelling on the offense as a basis for not being able to move forward in the relationship. I am reminded of Paul though when he had a falling out with John Mark. They went their separate ways after a disagrement and according to Scripture, it doesn't seem like Paul was able to forget about John Mark's failure.

Here's another example I think about....if a prominent Christian individual falls from grace (that's Christian-ese for screwed up big time)and the media berates them and other Believers chastise them while at the same time commiting to pray for them....how do we move on? Do we let that prominent Christian individual back into their place of honor once they have genuinely repented and sought restoration?

I say no. That's because I'm a black-or-white gal. The hard part for me to admit is that I'm in essense saying, "Once you mess up, you're done." I don't really believe that though. In my own life, I have screwed up too many times to count and of course the Lord has welcomed back with open arms. But, then again, I did still have to pay earthly consequences for my sin.

That's where I think the lines are blurry. How many consequences should the offender have to pay, and to whom, before they are allowed back in their circle of influence? Who gets to decide if the repentance and restoration is genuine in the first place?

I tend to think that once you have taken advantage of your circle of influence and failed them then you're out. You can find another place to minister, focus on your own family and local church; but I don't think you get to be Mr. or Mrs. Big Shot again.
Yep...I'm cut and dry. I know it. I hear the lack of compassion as I am writing. But, I think I'm right. What would Jesus do? I think He would love the sinner, but command them to "Go and sin no more."

I want to be more compassionate, but I don't think compassion is defined as allowing everyone who has messed up to be put back on a pedestal again. If we could just throw those darned pedestals off the planet we'd all be much more effective for the Lord.

Names for the Fab Five

I've seen it done on other blogs, so in the spirit of privacy I'm going to copy cat. I will use code names from now on for my Fab Five (kids.) Here goes...
Clone #1, Clone #2, Clone #3, Clone #4, and Clone #5. Just kidding. (They really do look just like their dad.) Ummm...ok I can be more creative than that. In real life our children have Bible names so I think their code name will be a Bible character I think they resemble or I hope they grow to resemble some day.
first son.....Peter
first daughter....Ruth
second son....John (the Baptist)
third son....Gideon
second daughter....Rachel

there you have it...my dear children

Works For Me Wednesday - Brand Loyalty edition

I am queen of cheap...I very rarely buy anything and I mean ANYTHING that is name brand because the generic is just as good and nearly half the price. BUT, there are a few exceptions. I'm joining the fun at Shannon's and giving a shout out to my favorite brand.

If you are a breastfeeding mother, or ever plan to be a breastfeeding mother you must and I mean MUST have a supply of these. After our fourth child was born I received a sample from the hospital and OH MY WORD was I in heaven. I'll spare you too many gorey details, but when you are in the first weeks of nursing a newborn it can......hurt (I'll leave it at that.) Soothies not only help, they heal. When you put them in the fridge they help even more! So, splurge ($12 a pair!) and it'll make those first weeks much easier.

Are You Kidding Me?

Those of you who are pet lovers are going to have to help me out. I am seriously confused. (here comes the ranting and raving....) Why in the world is our country making such a huge deal over Michael Vick and his illegal association with dog fighting? I don't get it. I understand that it's illegal - and that, in and of itself is worthy of noting. I understand that helpless dogs were harmed, even murdered, at the hand of Michael Vick. Yes, I understand that it's cold and heartless and mean and wrong and every other bad description I can muster. What I don't understand is WHY are we giving it such notice and analyzing the SNOT out of this? I don't get it. Even though I'm asking for your input on this matter, to be honest no matter how many graphic details you give me about Michael Vick's illegal activity, I'm still not going to get it. Why, you say?

Why is dog fighting a more newsworthy offense than let's say.....the slaughter of a baby in her mother's womb? Why is dog fighting a more controversial topic than let's say.....a man who hits his wife? Why is dog fighting a bigger deal than let's say....a drunk driver killing a husband and his new bride?

Michael Vick is newsworthy. But, other NFL players have commited crimes more grievous than Vick's and they largely go unnoticed except for in the ESPN ticker and people act surprised when they find out their favorite player was suspended for one game because of it.

I don't get it, and I'm not gonna.

She Makes Five!

If someone....anyone....had told me 15 years ago that I would have five children I would have rolled my eyes, and possibly slapped the person in the face. How could I have five kids? Even as I look around this house, I can't believe this is my life. I am so thankful for it. Even though it is nothing, and I do mean NOTHING like I had planned - I am so very thankful for it.

Three weeks ago we gave birth to our 5th child. She is beautiful. Her presence in this world is the direct result of our older daughter's prayers. She prayed every night that God would give her a baby sister. When she would ask me when Mommy and Daddy were going to have a baby sister, I just told her to keep praying. (That's code for...forget it girlfriend, I am done!) But, God had other plans. He answered her prayer (at what would seem at the worst time possible.) Go here to read about our journey to wanting more babies.

We found out that I was expecting this baby girl the same week that my husband lost his job. Yep. Fun week. But, God is God, and we are not. He proved that during the first trimester, that's for sure.

Now, nine months later - here she is. The answer to my daughter's prayer. After having 3 brothers, we finally have another girl in the house. I am LOVING all the pink-ness and even though the sleepless nights are wearing on me - I look at her and am in awe of God's creation.

For those of you who have one child and wonder, "How could I have this much love for another." Never fear. I don't know how it happens, but there is more than enough love in this mother's heart for my five children. In fact, my heart is overflowing!

In just a few short weeks, this phase will be over and our "Little M" as we've been calling her will be moving and grooving. When my sleep-deprived body begins to grumble and complain - I look at her. There is nothing like this feeling. Nothing.

Thank you, Lord for answering a little girl's prayers and for ignoring my plans.

TV Giveaway

I've been a little busy the last 2 weeks having a baby....yep, having a baby. When I have more time I'll post about our wonderful, beautiful, new blessing. In the meantime, I'm entering a contest for a tv giveway! Go here to enter yourself! And thanks to Best Buy for sponsoring the giveway.

Arm Pits

Had this conversation last night with our 3rd child as I was tucking him in bed....

"Mom, can you stop squishing me so I can get my arms out from underneath the covers?"
"Why, honey....are you hot?"
"No, my armpits need to breathe."

Allrighty-then.

Is Hell Real?

I believe it is. A reporter from ABC is doing a series on hell beginning Friday, July 13. Check out this video about a pastor in Oklahoma who has changed his mind about hell.